Redirecting ENVY: Converting Comparison to Self-growth and Gratitude.

ENVY; is a four-dangerous letter word; as minor and insignificant as that word can be, it is scary enough to ruin someone. We face this feeling as humans, it comes to our heads and minds. Envy is a complex emotion that can often leave us feeling incapable and discontent. In today's world, where comparison is just a click away, it's crucial to overcome envy and cultivate a healthier mindset. The whole point of this article is for us to explore, the nature of envy, its effects, and how we can handle this feeling with practical steps when it hits, transforming envy into self-growth and gratitude.

“To live without comparison is to remove a tremendous burden.”

– Jiddu Krishnamurti

What is Envy?

According to Oxford Languages; Envy is a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck. My mom usually says "Envy is witchcraft" (as ridiculous as it may sound it's a fact) because it is more than just wanting what others possess-- it's a deep-rooted feeling of resentment and discontent arising from the comparison which can birth hatred and enemity towards someone else. We shouldn't miss Admiration for Envy. Admiration has to do with delightful feeling. When we admire someone, we allow our souls to feel nourished by what's possible for humanity and ourselves. Envy on the other hand is a feeling based on comparison, inadequacy, and pain. This is usually birthed from admiration.

When we envy someone, we see them as a standard by which we measure ourselves and find ourselves falling short.

A woman who is jealous of another woman's new handbag.A woman who is jealous of another woman's new handbag.

Effects of Envy

"Jealousy injures us with the dagger of self-doubt.”

– Terri Guillemets

Envy can have both emotional and behavioral effects on individuals. Emotionally, it can lead to feelings of discontent, resentment, frustration, and even low self-esteem. It often creates a sense of constant comparison to others, which can be mentally exhausting and detrimental to one's well-being. Behaviorally, envy can lead to negative thoughts or actions, such as gossiping, sabotaging others, or engaging in unhealthy competitions. It is important to note that jealousy is a common human experience and can affect anyone. However, when these emotions start to become irresistible, they can trigger concerns about inadequacy or ill feelings toward others. It can also bring about symptoms of stress, self-doubt and in some cases, it can lead to depression.

A man feeling jealous of another.

How to convert Envy to self-growth.

“Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. You can't tell.”

– Mary Schmich

To control envy, we need to be self-aware and make a conscious effort to change our focus and mindset. It is important to recognize when we are feeling envious and to actively work on redirecting our thoughts toward more positive and productive things. Here are some strategies to help control and convert envy to self-growth:

1. Limit exposure to triggers: Being mindful of the situations, environments, or people that trigger feelings of envy can be helpful. If social media or certain social gatherings tend to make you feel envious, consider taking breaks or limiting your exposure to these triggers. Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment instead.

2. Practice gratitude: Cultivating a practice of gratitude can help move our focus from what we lack to what we have. Regularly reflecting on the blessings in our lives can bring a sense of contentment and reduce feelings of envy.

3. Celebrate others' success: Instead of feeling envious, genuinely celebrate the accomplishments and successes of others. By having a positive mindset and recognizing that there is room for everyone to thrive, you can shift envy into average admiration and support.

4. Navigate your focus on personal goals: Set realistic, meaningful goals that align with your values and aspirations. Instead of focusing on what others have achieved, channel your energy into personal growth and development. Strive for self-improvement and take steps towards becoming the best version of yourself.

5. Practice self-compassion: Keep in mind that everyone has their unique journey and struggles. Don't compare yourself to others, rather focus on your growth and progress. Treat yourself with kindness, patience, understanding, and embrace self-compassion rather than self-judgment. By doing this you wouldn't consider self-harm, sabotaging others, unnecessary competition, or even depression.

Women gossiping about another woman.

Remember, controlling envy is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection and deliberate efforts to shift your mindset. By limiting exposure to triggers, practicing gratitude, building a positive mindset, and navigating your focus toward personal growth, you can gradually minimize the negative effects of envy and embrace a more content and fulfilled life.